I don't have a special blog post this week, this is a review of my 4-Day Meditation Challenge.
The concepts I taught this week in the challenge are the same concepts I've learned by meditating on a regular basis and documenting what it was like.
For a long time, I was in denial. I was in denial about trauma from my youth. I was in denial over my depression and anxiety. I simply could not accept the truth, it was too painful. But then I realized I HAD TO accept the truth. I HAD TO find a way to radically accept whatever is within me and around me in order to respond authentically.
I was my own worst enemy for some time. That's pretty common, right? Except it was detrimental to my spiritual and mental health. I berated myself like no one else could. I wanted to whip myself into shape and succeed, so I thought it meant being my inner disciplinarian. But I did it in a way that lacked compassion. I was judgmental and mean to myself, and I just felt worst and worst about myself.
Given that I was in denial and mean to myself, it was really hard to find inner peace. I always felt like I was at war with myself. I had so much inner turmoil, it was overwhelming. I was also stressed and felt a sense of ickiness about myself and my relationship to the things that troubled me. In my search for inner peace, I realized it was all about my attitude. Instead of reacting mindlessly, I learned to face the world with a calm heart. It started with how I reacted to my own thoughts as I meditated.
In time, I learned to heal. I learned to heal by allowing myself to feel the truth, be nice to myself, and find a calm attitude. It became possible to live intentionally but effortlessly. I became more whole, and my wounds gradually closed up.
If you'd like to try meditation, I am doing a 4-Day Meditation Challenge on March 27. Sign up for it here.