It's been a tiresome summer for me. I'm sooo happy that it will officially be fall! I'm one of those who hate it when it's too hot.
I have been giving so much of my heart and my body into teaching yoga and meditation the last couple of months.
My favorite gig by far is teaching 6th-8th graders at a private school. It is my lowest paying gig, and yet my favorite because it feels most natural to me.
Teaching yoga is essentially holding space for people to be where they are and offering guidance for mindful movement. It is a reminder to witness ourselves.
No matter what your day has been like, or whether you're even liking yourself today, you are ALWAYS worthy. If you can see yourself and let go of the judgments for a second, you should know that you are inherently worthy.
How many of us knew this when we were young? I sure didn't. It led me to stumble into an abusive relationship at a really young age. In fact, I was in 7th-8th grade.
I'll be honest, despite all the therapy and self-help I've done, I sometimes forget. I forget that I am inherently worthy. I feel ashamed.
Oh, but what for?! you may wonder.
- I feel ashamed for being stressed out despite living my teenage dream. (Seriously, 15-year-old me would be psyched about all the yoga 22-year-old me is teaching.)
- I feel ashamed for gaining weight! I went from 126 lbs to 131 lbs in like two months. I have a freakin visible double chin. (Despite the fact I like the body positivity movement in yoga and know full well this is due to stress.)
- I feel ashamed for not making the time for myself to take classes. I love taking yoga and workout classes. But lately, it's been few.
- I feel ashamed for not having a robust meditation practice. Honestly, these days my meditation is in my classes when I lead or when I find the time to whisper "May I be happy... May I healthy... May I be safe... May I live with ease" while driving. It's really just whatever is enough to help me get through the next hour without collapsing onto my stress. It's a good thing meditation is an anywhere, "to-go" practice.
I could say more about the things I feel ashamed about. But I think you get the point.
Underneath all my ashamed thoughts, I know that I am always worthy. And this allows me to keep going, to keep dreaming, to keep doing. But what if it's really hard to tackle shame? What if you spend nights awake mulling over your flaws and not enough-ness? What if you critique yourself before you even gave yourself a chance to create something?
It's a challenge that Jenn Bovee can help you with, and she's going to be live to talk about shame in my Facebook group. Wednesday, Sept. 27. 11:30 AM Pacific/1:30 PM Central.
Let's tackle our freakin' shame together.
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